Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Life in the United States

Well, I just finished my two weeks of Rest and Relaxation (so they call it) in the United States.

I really like the United States. I hopped on an airplane from Atlanta to Chicago, and a lady sat next to me with a small alien on her lap. She called it a "baby." It made odd, loud noises, and a large amount of liquid excreted through every orifice on it's body. It smiled at me randomly, and that made all of the other annoyances worth it.

I was walking with my mom in Target, when I saw several strange creatures. I didn't know what to make of them. They were looking at make-up and giggling. I asked my mom what they were, and she told me they were "girls." It turns out our species has two distinct subcreatures. This other one is more graceful and prettier.

When I got home, I got out of the car, and there was a foreign substance on the ground. It looks like leaves, but it grows up from the ground individually. It's soft when you walk on it, and when you take off your shoes it sticks between your toes and sort of tickles. My family calls it "grass." I guess it grows all over this country. I rolled in it. Then I got itchy and had to take a shower. Fantastic.

I got to drive where I wanted in a small motorized vehicle. It went very fast, and I got where I wanted by following very strict instructions that were posted on green signs all around the concrete surface along which I rolled. I like that I can travel where I want whenever I want. That sure is slick.

I went to a very fancy museum with my sister Mary. They preserve all sorts of pictures and drawings and paintings and stuff by people from a long time ago. I'm not sure why we like to preserve stuff from the past so much. But I like it. We also went to a fancy pizza restaurant where they baked us a cookie and put ice cream all over it. What a deliciously indulgent experience.

Another sister and I went to this place where they had built big plastic slides and shoved thousands of gallons of water down them, so when you hopped on them, you flowed fast all the way down. My sister giggled deviously when we went down the lazy river and she could beat me jumping from empty raft to empty raft into a giant pool with waves. (I know, I kind of broke character here, but it was fun... and her giggling was awesome... though she was frustratingly fast.)

I spent a lot of time cooking when I wanted, waking up when I wanted, and spending as much time as possible with my family and friends. Thanks God.


JMH85 said...

Very Awesome. Glad you had a wonderful time with your friends and family. Continued prayer as you return to finish your tour.


abb said...

I'm kinda jealous over the water park thing.

kari j said...

Love it.
Wish we could've actually seen you over your R&R (not just via skype :) but so happy you had a good time with the rest of the fam and with your good buddies!!
Can't wait to finally see ya in August!
kari, ben, derek and mckenzie

A.J. said...

you forgot the best part when your friend made you feel as bad as possible about yourself!