Monday, November 17, 2008

Less than good day.

Ok, I'll admit, not every day is a good day. Due to our mission tempo, I wasn't able to go to church the first few weeks here in Iraq, which as you can imagine, is really frustrating. It's something I certainly take for granted every week until it's missing. I really missed that recharge time.

Since we've been here, I've got a completely different schedule than my Christian friend and encouragement and we haven't had a chance to spend any time together.

Also since we've been here, I haven't had a good schedule to get spend quality time with God. I miss Him terribly, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do yet. It's really hard to make time to spend with Him.

Well, this past Sunday, I finally got to be on post during a service, and I finagled my way out of a meeting so that I could go to church. Well, I was pulled to the side a few times to set stuff up for the next day, and I missed my chance to catch the bus, so I had to run to church. As I was running, I got really really sick, and had to spend some time in a porta-john (details edited out here). I have no idea what made me so sick. I had to sprint to church, and when I got there, I was sweaty, really really stinky, sick and completely misearable because I didn't feel any better. At the end of the service, I had to sneak out to go spend more time in the porta john. A half hour later, I was walking back to my chu (that's our word for trailer-house dealy that I live in), and I felt fine again. Except I was angry.

"Why do I feel this way after church, God? Didn't you know I needed this time with You? Why pick this time to make me so sick? Why can't I be encouraged and my heart lit aflame again?

Part of me would like to resolve this story with some fantastic end that God swoops in and makes it all better because He can see the bigger picture, but in truth, He didn't. Or I haven't listened yet.

Will you please pray for me and for my friend and for the testing that we're going through. When I back-up, I know that I can end this note with hope and anticipation because I know that my God has always answered my prayers, and will answer again. Will you watch and wait with me while we pay attention to how God works?

Thank You for your prayers.
I love you.



mamachocolatemoose said...

satan didn't want you to go to church and you made it! You may not feel like it but you can chalk that up to a victory! You made it!
Romans 8:37
No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
I love you, Mom

kari j said...

ha ha are SO related to Ben :) [if you don't recall, almost every time I get to go on a date with my husband (which is infrequent as well), he gets sick and spends more than half the time away from me in the restroom, ha ha]
i agree with your mama though, it was a victory even if (at the time) it didn't seem like it or it seemed unbelievably frustrating!
we'll be praying that you are able to find and keep some time solely for being with your Father, to catch up with Him and recharge yourself and your relationship with Him.

Stephie said...

Interesting. I want to pretend it's all coincidence. But... I'm considering the chances.

Jules said...

Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time. I'm sitting here at Abe and Chris' work reading this out loud to the two of them as they work and they are asking for the unedited version of this blog. They said they need more details of the bathroom scene. I think they are both sick people!

Steve said...

Bobby, this is really de ja vu for me, so I feel for you too. When I was in Saudi 10 years ago I had a Christan friend where we encoraged each other (he was from our church in Merced and I hadn't seen him in 5 years, so it was nice to get caught up on family stuff too). Shortly after we got there he got put on nights and I was on days until about the last week I was there. I occasionally stopped up to his office in between, but it was a quiet, testing time for me, but good overall. I read thru the New Testiment and listened to all of Frank Peretti's books on tape. Talk to you more soon. Love Dad

matthew said...

Keep positive, think about what you learned or gained though the experiences of not making church and being busy with all the work. How has God been at work in you and through you. I remember how you had pushed me and encouraged me during our deployment, I am praying that through this one you will continue to shine and grow in your faith.
What do you do most of the time? How can you make that time a time devoted to God? Prayer? Worship? See his work?
Keep pursuing the LORD