Ok, I'll admit, not every day is a good day. Due to our mission tempo, I wasn't able to go to church the first few weeks here in Iraq, which as you can imagine, is really frustrating. It's something I certainly take for granted every week until it's missing. I really missed that recharge time.
Since we've been here, I've got a completely different schedule than my Christian friend and encouragement and we haven't had a chance to spend any time together.
Also since we've been here, I haven't had a good schedule to get spend quality time with God. I miss Him terribly, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do yet. It's really hard to make time to spend with Him.
Well, this past Sunday, I finally got to be on post during a service, and I finagled my way out of a meeting so that I could go to church. Well, I was pulled to the side a few times to set stuff up for the next day, and I missed my chance to catch the bus, so I had to run to church. As I was running, I got really really sick, and had to spend some time in a porta-john (details edited out here). I have no idea what made me so sick. I had to sprint to church, and when I got there, I was sweaty, really really stinky, sick and completely misearable because I didn't feel any better. At the end of the service, I had to sneak out to go spend more time in the porta john. A half hour later, I was walking back to my chu (that's our word for trailer-house dealy that I live in), and I felt fine again. Except I was angry.
"Why do I feel this way after church, God? Didn't you know I needed this time with You? Why pick this time to make me so sick? Why can't I be encouraged and my heart lit aflame again?
Part of me would like to resolve this story with some fantastic end that God swoops in and makes it all better because He can see the bigger picture, but in truth, He didn't. Or I haven't listened yet.
Will you please pray for me and for my friend and for the testing that we're going through. When I back-up, I know that I can end this note with hope and anticipation because I know that my God has always answered my prayers, and will answer again. Will you watch and wait with me while we pay attention to how God works?
Thank You for your prayers.
I love you.