Hey Bobby, How's North Point?

Solitute 2

2010-08-22T23:16:00.000-07:00

I drove three hours to a spot that I found on the internet. I didn’t tell anyone where I was going, but I came prepared with fishing gear. I arrived very annoyed because in my three hour car ride, it felt like everyone managed to call or text me and so I didn’t end up with any quiet on the way up. At the lake, there was a sign that said this was an eagle nesting spot. I thought that was pretty neat so I told God that it would be cool if I saw one. I started walking to find a spot but I was still frustrated because I had wanted to go fishing but now I was overloaded with supplies and I was getting eaten alive by bugs. That was when God smiled. He sent a hummingbird to entertain me. I love hummingbirds, they are my second favorite animal. They are so cute and the flit and buzz and they just make me smile. I thanked God for that. As I kept walking along the lake, there was a boat off to my right with passengers that were staring in my direction. I looked back when I realized they were looking over me. They whisper shouted to me that there was an eagle over my head. Sure enough, a baby eagle was in the tree above me! I tried to take a picture but it flew away before I got the chance. God said to me, “I love you. This is our moment, it wasn’t to be shared.” Again, I thanked him and kept moving so as not to be eaten. I was so excited. I found a spot to set my stuff down, but I kept walking around briskly because the bugs wouldn’t leave me alone. This began to annoy me because I felt like this was a very symbolic time. I am out in the middle of nowhere, with nothing to do, and still I am walking quickly. The bugs were a symbol of my busy mind that wasn’t giving me peace and rest. I was frustrated and wanted to sit down, relax, enjoy fishing, and be able to just soak in God. So, I went back to my car, changed into jeans, coated myself in bugspray and went back. A silly little chipmunk was throwing acorns at me. As I sat down to fish, a huge male eagle skimmed across the water and caught a fish. I was so overwhelmed with God’s love, because he let me see two eagles, just because he can!

The next day, I went to fish at the dock. I can't remember the last time I successfully fished from shore. I told God it would be cool if I could catch a fish today. I caught three. Nearby, a baby eagle sat watching me and I was convinced he was going to try and steal one of my fish. To be honest, I would have given it to him… I read 1 Corinthians. Later, I saw another male eagle flying and it had a snake in its claws. I watched it eat it! Like I'm not joking. It sat on a tree branch on a tree across the water from me, tore off a piece of snake, cocked it's head back and did that gulp-head-bob thing that birds do because they don't have teeth. That was the best thing ever. I knew God really loved me right then.

After that, I guess I decided I was done. I wanted to come back and journal and solidify the things I had learned, heard, and felt. I was reading 2 Corinthians 3 when I came upon the verse about, “Our adequacy is from God.” and that challenged me a lot. I don’t allow people to speak into my life and I put myself in positions to do it for other people. I guess I am trying to cover up my insecurities about being competent. I know I am skilled and capable, but I fear that I don’t have value sometimes. I realized that God won’t ask me to do more than I can and in him I am actually adequate. As I roll into my job as an RA this year, I know that I am capable and equipped to do what God has set before me and I know that I am adequate because God is good.

Solitude

2010-08-22T23:09:00.000-07:00

At the beginning of the summer, I assumed that I would leave the Saturday after my internship ended. The closer I got to that date, the harder it became to think about leaving. Elizabeth also put a little pressure on me to stick around a couple days and I wanted to spend more time with my host family. I realized that there was going to be a gap of time between the end of my internship and school starting. It dawned on me that this would be the last time that I would be responsibility free in my life. After I get married, even if I check out for a few days to be alone, I’ll still be responsible for my wife. I began to feel a nagging thought that I should take a few days to spend time alone. The idea itself annoys me because I like people and being around them. Not being with people feels like choosing to stand in the desert in the middle of the day for no good reason. Why should I subject myself to agony and torture? I have friends, I am a pretty cool guy, why should I choose to be alone? But, I knew that God placed it on my heart to spend a few days alone and I know better than to ignore his calling. It is a 13 hour drive from GA to WI and I set aside 4-5 days to do it.

I began the first leg of the drive in the late afternoon. I wanted to formally start my solitude so I pulled over at the first place that got my attention; a state park. Upon getting to the gate I realized there was a parking fee and I didn’t feel like paying it so I pulled into a drive to turn around, but it t wasn’t large enough to do a u-turn, so I followed until it ended in a cemetery. I figured God knew that I was going to end up here so I parked and got out. The first set of thoughts were the obvious ones about the brevity of life, priorities, what matters most, the point of my year, the big scheme of things, and so on. As I continued to walk around I began to notice all the graves with couples. Each man’s grave had a date that was about ten years before the women’s dates. I began to think about what I wanted to leave Elizabeth with so that she could eventually move on. Still on my walk, I came across a grave with a married couple who had the wife die in childbirth. I couldn’t imagine anything worse... a series of worst case scenarios began to flood my mind. I started to wonder what would keep me faithful to God if the worst things I could possibly imagine came true. I was pretty annoyed at God for hitting me quickly as I started this journey of solitude. I left that cemetery full of questions and with no real answers. So, I read Matthew.

I headed for Nashville, and was able to connect with Elizabeth’s brother Ben. He was gracious and invited me to a concert with him at RocketTown. A scream-o band playing was named "This Is Hell." I agreed. Outside, we ran into one of his friends. This guy was covered in tattoos, had gages in his ears, and was smoking a pipe. But when he heard Ben was traveling to New York for a show and I was on my way to WI, he asked if he could pray for our traveling safety. (Talk about judging a book by its cover, I was blown away.) After that, Ben, his friend Ryan, and I went to Qdoba to eat. We chatted awhile about life, love, and fathers and then we parted ways. I don’t know if my time spent with him was particularly meaningful, but I know that sometimes in life, it is just nice to have people around. I drove a little ways outside of Nashville before I parked at a rest stop to sleep for the night.

The following day, I drove a couple hours to Hopkinsville, Kentucky. I think it was a real town because I found a Starbucks and I spent the day there. My agenda for the day was to read Romans. By the time I had gotten to Ch. 3, I had already forgot all the great stuff from the first couple chapters so I changed my approach. I went back and began to journal about what I was reading. I came to the overwhelming realization that Romans is an awesome book. I don’t know if I ever really understood before all the treasure that Romans has to offer. The neat thing was, all the questions that I had asked in the cemetery were starting to be answered. Of course there were things there that I already knew, the obvious things. But a lot of what it was was head knowledge turning into heart knowledge. Like the verse about the Spirit testifying with my spirit, totally true! I think I fell in love with the gospel as I read Romans. Not kidding. I saw Paul wrestle with all these issues and yet, he was free because in the end, God is the one who enacts, maintains, and upholds everything. The fear of falling away isn’t on me because He is holding me to himself. And, I know he will continue to. It was a very freeing moment to me. It was in that all those answers came. The thoughts about what mattered most, what I needed to invest in, and the big scheme of things, etc. all fell away. The answer is, of course, not an epiphany, but also it was an epiphany. The Gospel. I want to help Christians strip off the garbage that clouds their vision and help them ask the question, “What is getting in the way of loving the gospel?” Paul was correcting and coaching them so that they could appreciate the gospel. I discovered that what I want to leave Elizabeth is a love for the gospel. A legacy where the stability comes from Him, not me. A love that for Him that feeds my love for her. I guess when I realize that everything else is outside of ourselves and we become expendable to his plan, it is easier to follow. I felt so free and not afraid. The other main thing I took away from Romans was that we are to identify with Christ more than just feeling or thinking like him. We aren’t just trying to put ourselves in his shoes. It is way more mystical that that. I realized we are to allow him to be our life. In a sense, I am to be him. His life is my life. It is a much stronger connection that what I thought.

Tired from so much spirituality, I headed to taco bell before turning in for the night. On the way, my best friend called me and told me he was coming to stay at my house on his way to Chicago and wanted me to be there. I decided that I could do that, so I got up the next morning, read Mark, and drove home. It was interesting to read that Gospel on the other side of all my realizations about God from Romans. Everytime Jesus spoke, I was like, “wow!”

When Alex arrived at my house, I spent time with him, played games, hung out, and when he left on Sunday, so did I.

Winding Up

2010-08-22T22:59:00.000-07:00

I had been downtown the entire week before and sort of lost touch with what was happening back at the church. I was even excluded from the weekly team email. I assumed I wouldn’t have to work that Sunday evening because I hadn’t been a part of any of the planning. During church that morning, however, Emily texted, asking me to help. I was in another town with Michael and Grammy, so I just about to eat lunch, so I couldn't, but I told her I'd get over there as soon as I could. They took me to Chicago’s for lunch which was ironically humorous to me in Atlanta, but it was enjoyable. After that, I headed over to North Point to help set up for the ice cream thank you party for the leaders of the beach trip. Thus beginning my process of closure of the summer. I heard many small group leaders share of their experiences and how great they thought the event was and that was so affirming to all the planning that I had helped with. For instance, one mom attempted to register her son after registration was closed. Their family was going through a really tough time, so Kevin put extra effort into getting him in. He asked for favors, and did a bunch of extra work himself. This student was a problem all week-- misbehaving and sneaking off. The last night, however, he stood up to receive Christ. He wants to stay involved at North Point. One voluntary leader signed on to be a permanent leader after falling in love with the students she was with. For me, all my students still text me on Sundays asking if I am coming. I sat in on small group that Sunday. It was so cool to see the students at church after having them for the week at camp. That first night, the small group leaders didn't follow-up on what had happened during camp, and that shocked me. That's what I was so excited about being back at church together. So after small group the three of us talked about all the things that had happened at camp, and how they could follow-up with their students. I think their group will continue being awesome.

I spent one more week at North Point after the Mission trip, and it was kind of weird. After getting used to the fast paced environment that I been a part of all summer, I felt like it came to an abrupt halt. Monday was weird. Everyone was lethargic and chill and no one was running around planning things. Monday was Clay’s last day, he was headed off to Dallas Theological Seminary to continue working on his doctorate. Him saying goodbyes, filled the air with a somber mood. After that everyone was pretending that they weren’t saying goodbye on Thursday. It was just a weird week. I had already begun to detach through the mission trip knowing it was the last thing on the agenda and the thank you party on Sunday. I was ready to move on and think ahead towards the coming semester. It was almost funny to see everyone ignoring the imminent detachment.

At the all staff meeting, we shared our experiences from the summer. It was a neat time and they even applauded for us at the end. I was excited about that because I’m pretty sure that Andy looked at me during that time.

Love Without an Agenda

2010-07-28T12:41:00.001-07:00

It turns out that I like the homeless. How did I reach this conclusion? The hard way. I previously had a bad taste of the homeless coming from my experiences of homeless people in Chicago who bug you until you pay them to leave you alone. For my internship this summer I volunteered to go downtown with some students to work with the homeless for a week. Okay, honestly, I didn’t even want to go on this trip. Elizabeth took me to the train station and I was complaining on the way there. It wasn’t that I hate students or didn’t think this opportunity was a good idea, but I was worn out from all the ministry I’d been doing this summer. I was dreading for several reasons: I knew it was going to be a lot of work, I didn’t know what we were going to do, and I didn’t know anyone. But, I had signed up, so I went anyway.

I arrived at the train station to a chaotic mix of parents and students all looking for direction. When they realized I worked for Northpoint, they turned on me. I had signed up to go because I like to work with students. I had no idea about all the other details. Mallory, the person in charge hadn’t shown up yet and I was bombarded with signed parental permission slips and a myriad of questions about the if’s, where’s, and what’s. I’m good at thinking on my feet so I made up assuring answers to calm the anxious parents. When Mallory got there, I readily shoveled all the forms and questions to her, and stood close by to help the best I could get the trip moving.

The train took us downtown where we exited and walked to an a building that housed the organization called “Safehouse.” This is where we received our assignment for the week. It was simple; to serve with unrequited love. Joe, the pastor at Safehouse, challenged us to use this opportunity to give without expecting anything in return. He referred to it as “Love without an agenda.” Other than that, he really didn’t give us any assignments, which I hated… at first.

Every night of the week at Safehouse, a different church would come in to lead a cook dinner and lead a service. Our job was simply to hang out. This seemed strange to me in a way. I’m so used to being told to serve, cook, building, evangelize, or something. This simple plan of hanging out didn’t seem like ministry to me. We hosted a makeshift youth group with a bunch of silly icebreaker games. The high schoolers invited homeless people and we’d just hang out and connect with them. This seemingly meaningless assignment quickly turned amazing.

Within minutes of our first night of this, one of the girls had given her shoes away and was walking around in socks! This set the tone for the rest of the week. We went to parks, hosted meals, and just hung out with the homeless. As people have asked how this trip changed me, my answer is that the highlight of my trip really was seeing the students flourish in these circumstances. It was a huge confirmation of my calling to work with students and see them be changed. This generation is not a lost cause. They are incredible!

One morning, Joe asked if we were comfortable washing feet and giving people new socks. I remember the taste of bile clawing at my throat. I’ve been to Iraq and been in a number of uncomfortable situations, but that might be the line for me. I hugged the homeless people and held their hands as we prayed but I didn’t think I was capable of washing their feet. Joe asked for volunteers and I kid you not, every student raised their hands. There were other jobs to be done and students could have chosen other things, but they all raised their hands. Joe only chose seven lucky students, so, thankfully, I did not have to swallow my bile. But these students were off the hook!

One day, we made pancakes. That was mixing things up a bit because most shelters only make dinner. The students eagerly went to the neighboring parks to find homeless to invite them. Then, they served the meal with enthusiasm. One of the group members decided that we needed some background music, so he turned on his iPod. That was fine, but as the first song had rhythm, some students were inspired to “show us what they got.” They jumped on stage, and started showing off some dance moves. Pretty soon some homeless people were being pulled on the stage to be taught how to do the dance. Soon, it turned into a wild dance party. It was unreal. I am not exaggerating, two hours later, the iPod had played every Michael Jackson song I know and every song that narrates a dance. It went through every song I knew you could dance to and more, it was unbelievable. One homeless person could do the entire music video dance for “Thriller.” The founder of Safehouse said that, “I have never seen these homeless people smile so much”-- which is saying a lot coming from him!

One night a student started crying as she was telling me about a conversation she had having with with one of her homeless friends who had told her he was thinking about committing suicide. The longer she talked with him, the more connected she became. By the end of the conversation, all she wanted was for him to tell her that he’d still be around tomorrow. She learned that there is nothing she could do to change him. She could only love him that moment in time. And cry.

Another student traded shoes with a person who was wearing the wrong size. It didn’t matter that they weren’t his size either. The funny thing is, he thinks he got the better end of the deal. I saw him at church the next Sunday and he was still wearing them.

I could share so many more stories, but because you are already bored, I’ll close with a final thought. Out of everything I saw and experienced through this mission trip, I cam away feeling such a confirmation of my calling and so excited that the future of the church is in the hands of such a passionate generation. We were not forced to tell anyone the gospel, we weren’t given a 5 point tract to hand out, we didn’t have a trick question, we weren’t doing apologetics. These students were just loving these people and the gospel was brought by love without an agenda.

North Point Does Camp

2010-07-16T20:24:00.000-07:00

Camp is the event that my internship has been working towards this summer. The goal: relocate 1,200 kids to Panama City Beach, Florida for an encounter with the life changing God and bring them back again without any mortalities. (Only one guy in my group came back with stitches. So I think we did pretty well.) I was assigned to be a temp small group leader along with one of their two permanent small group leaders. As the substitute for the other small group leader I felt that I came in with a disadvantage. They knew, liked, and missed their other "real" small group leader. So I battled with feelings of inadequacy. We were to lead fifteen 10th graders and share two condos in a massive beach resort that the church rented out. I occupied the smaller condo with the seven more well behaved guys. Without revealing too much of the personal experiences that were shared, I will say that God came and moved amongst the guys in my group. It was dramatic. The first small group time that I was present for, several of my students shared parts of their story and tears. They shared about feeling like their parents or grand parents had neglected or not liked them, and what it was like the first time they felt affirmation. They shared about addictions they were choosing to fight against. I hadn’t known whether or not I was connecting with them, but after that group I knew we were brothers.

Let me share this hilarious story about the trip: All during the week the guys had been testing me to see what my boundaries were. I had told them I was in the army and so they kind of imagined that I was like an army ninja warrior. They were a little bit afraid of me I think. I liked that perception... there are advantages to being feared... you know what I mean? To continue with set-up, they had a game that they thought was hysterical. If one of their friends left their phone unattended, the someone in the group would hide it. The student whose phone it was would get frantic when they realized it was missing and they would retrace their steps to the beach or the conference center looking for it. This would result in a raucous laughter. That would enlighten the tortured student that his peers were guilty, but instead of telling him where it was, the other guys would play the hot or cold game until the student found it.

This particular night, the game turned sour. One student informed me that my cell phone had been stolen off the counter in the room where I had left it (Mom, I just want you to know that I did actually know where I had left it) it was about 1:30 am. I informed the guys I was headed to bed and that my phone had better be there when I arrived. I rose and walked very slowly towards my room. No one moved a muscle. As I entered the door frame of my room and observed that my phone had not been replaced I heard quick movements behind me. A door behind me slammed shut and the muffled sound of another slamming also. I wheeled around and ran to the first door. They locked it. Foolishly they didn’t realize it was the type with the hole in the middle that you could pick easily. The one student who had been the scapegoat that week assisted me and we were through that door in a matter of seconds. Entering the room I looked around and saw no one. But, I did notice the closet door was now shut. I swiftly moved towards it, twisted the doorknob, and heard five squeals. “He’s at the door!” I gave it a good shove but even me in my glorious might am no match for five squealing 10th graders. I managed to crack it open enough to see their wide-eyed terror beset 10 eye balls before they would slam it shut again. I looked for something I could jam into the door to keep it open, but couldn’t find anything that wouldn’t damage the frame so I searched for other options. Above me, I realized the ceiling tiles crossed the closet too. So I climbed up on the counter and pushed the tile out of the way. Sure enough, I had easy access to their space. I wasn’t big enough to crawl through, but from here I knew I could rain down terror. I yanked the tile off the closet side, growled and gave scary fingered grimace look! Five frightened squeals responded. I climbed down and shoved the door to make sure they would stay put and went to the kitchen to grab a few bottles ice cold water. I poked holes in the tops of the bottles, which made instant spray guns and climbed back on the counter. Grinning through the open tile leading into their tiny space, I drenched them. Four boys collapsed to the ground squealing like the Wicked Witch of the West, but one of my brighter students kept his head and continued to hold the door closed. I emptied a full bottle on their heads then jumped back down to the door. Thats when my co-conspirator jumped up on the counter and poured another bottle down on them. This solicited more screaming but no progress. It was time for a new approach. My assistant had a great idea and ran to get his spray deodorant. He climbed back on the counter and pumped our torture chamber full of odorous fumes. As I began to get a whiff of this scent, I knew they must be near death. As the coughing began, the door game suddenly switched. They wanted out, so I reverse my role in the game too. I held the door shut a few moments longer, laughed, then let go. One of the students fell backwards over his friend and I raced into the closet. seeing that it was 5 against 1, the same smart student grabbed me from behind and said “ I’ve got him, grab him!” while another student said, “he’s got him, run!” and four squealing boys bolted. I quickly turned the hold I was in into a headlock in my favor. I told him, “You don’t have very good friends..” He whimpered back, “ I know.” So I took him with me into the main room of the condo. The four 10th grade men ran to the corners of the room, but one of them quickly returned my phone and cried out “It wasn’t me..” in a trembling high pitched plea. We all became friends that night. For those of you who don't know: that is what male bonding is all about.

But on a more serious note, I was extremely impressed with the way that North Point does camp. Because they bring all of their own small group leaders down to substitute for camp counselors, that camp "high" is experienced by someone who will be there to follow-up when the students get home. This also gives the small group leaders a sense of value, because they get to see that their work is worth while. Every single one of the fifteen guys in my group admitted to me that this trip had been life changing. The talks had been about how when a person experienced Jesus, their lives are forever changed. They used the stories of people Jesus had met to relate this truth-- Zacheus, the Woman at the Well, the Rich Young Ruler-- to name a few. It was incredible. The speakers did an amazing job of making it easy for the small group leaders to ask good questions and leader their students into imagination-enthralling relationship with Jesus. It was awesome. The last night, 14 of my 15 guys told me and the other small group leaders specific actions they were going to do when they got home, from witnessing to relatives to respecting authority figures to breaking addictions. It was incredible. One guy gave his life to Jesus. The 15th member told us that he wasn't there yet. He was no longer an outside observer, but he wasn't ready to be all the way. But he's moving closer. It was unbelievable to me that he was comfortable telling us that, glad that he had come, and that he was committed to coming back and learning more. So... feel free to ask questions if you want me to fill in the blanks, but overall, it was better than I could have imagined.

More Life in Georgia

2010-07-10T10:22:00.000-07:00

A large package came in the mail the other day with Grammy’s name on it, she was thrilled. Inside was her brand new, shiny walker. After Mr. Shalom assembled it, Grammy could be seen doing laps around the kitchen. She was even excited about the “secret compartment” underneath the seat. She exclaimed, “I can keep my purse, my water, my jacket, or whatever I want down there!”

One Friday, said I to my maiden, “Lets pack a cooler with food, sunscreen, bugspray, water, and my handy five finger shoes equipped to meet all my outdoor fancies and go for a hike!” So we set out for the North Georgia frontier, excited for what awaited. As we neared our destination, I realized I was hungry. We began to see signs announcing the quickly approaching “Earl’s BBQ.” I know that whenever you are in a foreign land, it is polite to eat the traditional food of that place, so I was interested. After I exited the Highway, I couldn’t find Earl or his BBQ anywhere. But, I did find Reba. She owned an all day buffet... Elizabeth warned me about places like this. She claimed we would be served by people without teeth, wearing camouflage. These are the types of restaurants where overalls are the fashion choice most days. Anyways, I ignored her as I walked in and greeted them with a familiar, “Howdy.” This is similar to a "hello" or a "hi" everywhere american is spoken. (Here in the south, they have their own secret language.) Sure enough, our waiter, though perfectly courteous, was wearing a camouflage apron and a John Deer shirt that stated, “Will trade wife for tractor.” I poke fun, but I will admit that I was served the best BBQ I’ve ever had. They are doing something right. Our destination was a location called "Tallulah Gorge." This place made for a perfect day of rock jumping, swimming, hiking, and playing. At the bottom of the gorge, there is a waterfall that is one big rock set at a 45 degree angle. The water rushes over it, and if you sneak out to the middle of the fall, you can actually use it as a huge natural waterslide! Awesome. We came home sweaty and exhausted but we were happy.

I spent a weekend in Chicago. Let me begin this short story with a quote from a picture of me on facebook, I’m a "two-time award winning best man.” This is true. In the last two months, both of my best friends have gotten married and I was the best man at each. I traveled to Seattle for one and Chicago for the other. They were both certainly memorable and filled with many stories. In short, the bookends of Jon’s wedding were certainly unforgettable. There were tiny mishaps like no air conditioning to a guy being picked up by an ambulance next door to the reception. The ceremony itself was beautiful and passed without a hitch. I didn't drop the rings. So, that's good. The rest, including the bachelor party, is just memories.

I got Swag

2010-06-15T21:16:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with people in the south? Apparently, if you get shiny lights and point them at a rock, fifteen thousand people will show up to watch!

Last weekend, Elizabeth decided to treat ME to a date. I know, shocker. Let me explain the rules of our dating contract. Most of you know that every Thursday night is date night. This is a time that no one or no thing is allowed to interfere with; its our time. However, as part of the contract, if we ever failed to comply with the regulations of the contract, due to extinuating circumstances, Elizabeth is responsible for redeeming the date by planning a substitionary date. In other words, if we miss a date night because of thanksgiving, christmas, etc. Elizabeth gets to plan the make up date at her discretion. To give you an idea of how this works, when we missed a date because I was at Alex’s wedding, she made up for it by taking me to see a Nascar Race. Georgians…

Anyways, back to the story.. Her newest date idea was to take me to a place called Stone Mountain and have a picnic. Stone Mountain is the South’s response to Mt. Rushmore. Let me describe it to you in this way: picture a rock, okay its a big rock, but its not exactly a mountain. It’s Georgia’s best effort at a mountain. Then picture a hundred drunk dixie boys repelling off the side chipping away the stone to create a monument to their favorite confederate generals. I know, I know. I don’t know how I’m surviving down here either! Every night of the summer they put on the world’s largest laser show spectacular. And, I’ll be honest, I like the shiny things as much as the next guy. It is a thirty minute productions where they used lasers put to music to create movies. They played a variety of songs which included songs by famous Georgian musicians, songs that mention Georgia or the south, or just patriotic songs in general. They used visual effects including projectors and fireworks to supplement the lasers. However, to make the experience more unique-- earlier that night, there had been a soul music concert there. So we had the added benefit of sharing this experience with no less than fifteen thousand brothas and sistas. We were unaware until we arrived that we needed a bucket of fried chicken and a skull cap in order to fit in. That is an absolutely unnecessary joke, but I thought I'd go for it while I could. Sorry if you're offended. Over all, it was a pretty fun show, and if you are ever in Georgia you should go. It is free once you are inside the park. I won’t even admit that I cried when they played the national anthem.

In other offensive news, this past Tuesday night, several days after the Stone Mountain episode, Elizabeth and I joined Mrs. Shalom for a movie night. She chose a movie that she had just gotten called Food Inc. I won’t go in to much detail, but I’ll say that it is a documentary describing how food gets from a seed to the table. It was rather upsetting. The film described the cruel treatment of workers, farmers, and animals. As a result of this production, Elizabeth and I became organics-- even on date night. I took her to an organic fast food restaurant (who even knew that existed?). The cows we were eating as hamburgers were not genetically engineered, and were allowed to graze on grass rather than fed corn. No more Taco Bell date nights for us! And this commitment has lasted almost 6 days!

Every Wednesday night, the other interns and I lead a Bible Study. We created this event and affectionately named it SWAG. No, it doesn’t stand for anything deep or spiritual like Students Walking After God or Seven Weeks Accepting Grace. Honestly, it is the name of the Cologne one of the guys I work with wears. In its defense, it smells delicious. Swag isn’t just a name though, its a style. My style. Anyway, we are doing a study on 1 Timothy. We aren’t really teaching it as much as we are just reading through and allowing the students to interact and discuss the material. It is a throw back to old school youth group which is ironic because we’re at NorthPoint. We are meeting a need the students asked for; going deeper. We are teaching them how to study the Bible. Overall, our first night went very well. So much so, in fact, that several students came up to thank me. I thought that was weird, since when do you get thanked for reading a chapter of the Bible? I’ll say this for NorthPoint, one of the things I’ve noticed is that the students don’t know much about God but they are passionate. I’ll take a passionate, naive student over a scholarly, apathetic one any day.

I can’t believe I am half way through my internship already, it seems like I just got here. I love and miss you all. The sun is hot and the humidity is oppressive, but God is GOOD!

Experiencing Greatness

2010-06-04T13:48:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, Elizabeth and I decided to surprise Mrs. Shalom. She was leading a small group that morning, it was fantastic! Mrs. Shalom had put together a miniature replica of the tabernacle. It was complete with slaughtered sheep on the alter.

After that, we headed over to North Point for the service, and youʼll never guess what happened to me! We got to the church with ample time. I figured that getting there early would get us better seating than the ones we had last time. To my surprise, we walked into the sanctuary that was already almost full! I had talked with the couple that lives in the Mr. and Mrs Shalomʼs basement and told them I was coming. They offered to save me a spot, but when we found them among the mass of people, I realized I forgot to tell them I was bringing Elizabeth. As we stood there looking around like big dumb idiots, an usher noticed that we looked aimless and hopeless and asked if we were visitors. We told him no, we were in fact secondtimers. Apparently, that qualified us for a closer seats. He asked if weʼd like to sit "up front." When most people say "front," they are refering to the front third of the building. We didnʼt realize that he meant THE FRONT ROW. He seated us in the front row, center section. It was ideal for “The North Point Experience” meaning, it was up close and personal for all the action.

A few minutes into the service, a girl walked to the seat beside me wearing a headset and looking very in charge. Next to her, was HIM. Yes, the Andy Stanley. He sat not next to me, but in the seat next to the seat next to me. We were practically touching.. I leaned over and elbowed Elizabeth. She looked back at me with a knowing smirk. She knew that I was currently living a childhood fantasy. As the music started I glanced through my peripherals and noticed that he was singing along. I elbowed Elizabeth to inform her of the fact. He even moved his body slightly back and forth, I think I saw his arms swinging slightly. I was very excited about that. At the part of the service where you do the obligatory “meet and greet” Elizabeth encouraged me to ask Andy to sign my bible or at the very least get a picture with him taken by my phone. I told her I wasnʼt too excited about her heresy and that she could go blaspheme somewhere else. I think what I most admired about him that day was how excited he seemed to be about what he did. When it was his cue to go up on stage to do something he would jump from his seat and like run up there. I love being a part of his ministry knowing that he loves doing what he does. It is a huge encouragement to me. Iʼd like to say that I actually talked to him, but I was too chicken. So... thatʼs my Andy Stanley story.

So Iʼll tell you a date night story... I got an idea from my friend to take her to an event called “Screen on the Green.” Basically, they set up an enormous screen and projector out in a beautiful park. So, I took Elizabeth (thus, we call it "date night"). This, in my mind, was intended to be a romantic evening. On a Thursday night, I didnʼt expect there to be very many people. We arrived half an hour before the show started and there were already throngs of people. It was crazy. When we finally found a place to put a blanket, it was less than ideal. It was loud, crowded and muggy. So we improvised by people watching and making fun of the crazy rednecks. As the sun set and it became dark enough to see the screen without a glare,the movie began. Approximately fifteen minutes later, a group behind us began cheering loudly. I immediately realized what they were doing so I explained to Elizabeth that they were trying to get as many people as possible to cheer at absolutely nothing. They tried this again with the happy birthday song. It was obvious that it wasnʼt anyoneʼs birthday. The point was to get the crowd to join in. Throughout the movie, people were noisy, rambunctious, and walking back and forth in front of the screen. It was quite the cultural experience, Georgians...

For Memorial Day weekend, I spent my time watching Elizabethʼs little sister playing tennis in a tournament. Vani is freaking ridiculously good. In the mornings I warmed her up and then we drove her to the tennis courts. Watching her rekindled a passion for me to play tennis again. It awakened a deep longing within me to restart my tennis career. So that was fun.

If you ever wondered what it would be like to live with a 95 year old, itʼs a new experience every day. On Memorial day, Elizabethʼs family came over for a cookout. During dessert, Grammy began to explain to us how to do the ballroom dance, the two step. Because Elizabeth is a punk, she told Grammy that I didnʼt dance with her because I donʼt know how and I wonʼt just wing it. She manipulated the situation in order to have some fun (did I mention how much I hate her sometimes?) and coyly asked Grammy if she could show me how. I looked at Elizabeth with horror in my eyes. Without allowing for a response, Grammy got up, grabbed my hands, and pulled me to the open space in the kitchen floor. Everyone got involved. Mrs. Shalom and Vani turned on good oldies music to dance to while everyone else watched as Grammy two stepped me around the room. After a few minutes, She asked, “do you got it?” I nodded a yes and she explained to me, “When ya dance, one of the two of ya has got to lead...” I knew from the look on her face that I needed to pick up my game. I did the best I could and we only tripped a few times. Then, my sweet girlfriend cut in and I wooed her with my new skills. She was smitten. Have I mentioned how charming I can be. She is totally infatuated with me. I like her even though she is a brat.
So... that's all... stay tuned.

Life at the Spa: My Living Arrangements

2010-05-24T17:16:00.000-07:00

Allow me to affectionately introduce to you the couple with whom I am living this summer: Mr. and Mrs. Shalom are a happily married couple who love people.

Mr. Shalom is a hard working business owner whose favorite hobby is a game of golf by himself. He has the most incredible pastoral heart. I pretty much enjoy anything he has to say because he talks about topics, from books to women’s fast pitch softball, with an attitude I can only describe as somehow affectionate. When he walks in the door, he kisses his wife and gives me a handshake or a hug if I’m around. He still enjoys allowing his 95 year old mother to give him milk and cookies. He is not only a prime example of masculine sensitivity, but he is business savvy and theologically astute. And... I just like him. Last night, he treated me to Starbucks and won my heart.

Mrs. Shalom is quickly becoming a mother figure to me. We spend most nights staying up and talking about all sorts of things from my testimony, to the Israelite Tabernacle, to different churches' methodologies. Every morning when I come downstairs, she makes a delicious green smoothie for me. She has welcomed me into her home from the first day and the gift of hospitality is not lost on her or her husband. One time, when I offered to do the dishes, she told me if I wanted to do them I would have to fight her for it. I’ve been a little scared of her ever since!

Now, for all my girlfriends..
You already know about Elizabeth; let me introduce you to my three new girlfriends..

I live with two beautiful blondes; Alex and Abby. One is approximately 2’3’’ and the other might be 3 feet tall. They flirt, call me by different nicknames, give me gifts, and run towards me when I come home. They are the two cutest little girls and they are the daughters of the couple who live in the basement.

Grammy is my other new girlfriend. She, as I mentioned before, is Mr. Shalom’s elderly mother. We stay up in the evenings talking and she has told me on multiple occasions that I have great teeth. The other day, I took her to her hair appointment. After it was finished, I went to escort her back to my car but it had started to rain. While waiting for it to pass, we stood under the awning of the shopping center. She claimed her hair would go flat if even a few drops of rain got on her, so I ran to get the umbrella from me car. When I came back, she grasped my arm and asked “Where are your muscles?” Playing along, I flexed. She cried out in pain exclaiming, “Ow, ow, ow! Oh you do have muscles.” I burst out laughing and she told me she loved to hear me laugh. On the way home, she impressed me with reciting the preamble and the alphabet backwards.

I really enjoy my living arrangements. I feel very accepted. The couple downstairs cooks me dinner most nights and invited me to sit with them at church. Last night, the husband took a piece of meat and transformed it into a tasty and juicy bite of heaven. Everything I eat is healthy and delicious. I look forward to being with Grammy and having our evening chat. And, Mr. and Mrs. Shalom insistently offer the use all their things. They even loaned me their GPS until I learn my way around. I feel a part of a big, but tight knit family and it has seriously been an unanticipated blessing. I do not feel as though my words can actually give justice to how amazing my living arrangements are. I tried to paint as clear of a word picture as I could, but you’d have to come see for yourself.

Stay tuned for my update on how my internship is going...

Day One

2010-05-19T14:51:00.000-07:00

Monday was my first day on the job. Being me, I left early enough to allow myself ample time to find the church and get acclimated to the environment. I printed out directions from MapQuest, but I got a little turned around. Every other road here is peach this or Peachtree that. I wonʼt even begin to point out all the variations of Martin Luther King Jr roadways there are. I do not blame myself for getting lost. The people I am staying with loaned me a GPS and it was a serious lifesaver today. Conveniently, I still arrived twenty minutes early (remember, I allowed time in my schedule for getting lost..)

I didn’t know what to expect, but I wasn’t prepared for what I walked into. The room was full of young adults. I was really intimidated and I had no idea who any of them were. Someone in charge announced that the meeting was going to start at 10:00 AM and to hang out until then. I discovered, when I started to mingle, that they were all interns. NorthPoint has several locations and today was orientation for all the campuses. There were 14 or 15 others.

I met the three interns that I would be working with; Meredith, Emily, and Alex:

Meredith has a twin brother and sister who are in same grade as her. All three of them go to Samford University.

Emily is from Pennsylvania and is staying with her sister who lives near NorthPoint. She goes to Eastern university and lives outside of Scranton.

Alex is a genetics major at Clemson and is debating about whether or not he should pursue law school. He is the only one of us who actually grew up going to NorthPoint. He is a very energetic person and has nice teeth.

Above the summer interns on the pecking order is the full-time interns; Mallory and Jared. We will work directly with them this summer. Mallory is also energetic. She and Alex dominated the conversation because they talk really fast and enthusiastically. Jared is a long time intern. His father works at NorthPoint and writes books with Andy. We were called into the meeting which was held in a pretty big auditorium called “The Attic.” We had to go around and introduce ourselves and say something quirky and it took a long time because we were all joking around. I had to admit that my schoolʼs mascot is “the Arch.” Not something cool like an Archer, but a stone structure. That got quite a laugh. After everyone was introduced, they gave us a brief history of NorthPoint. Then we were dismissed us for lunch. We went to Qdoba and they paid for it! I am going to like this job!

I figured out pretty quickly, that I was one of the older interns and so I chose to not admit my age. At lunch, I was cornered with a barrage of questions until I had to affirm that I was the closest to dirt in age out of everyone in the group.

Back on campus after lunch, it was time to get acquainted with the campus. To do that, the staff sent us on a scavenger hunt. We had to go all over campus finding coffee, coffee, soda, and post it notes. We had to get signatures from people and find out how to become a member. We even had to take group pictures. Alex was very useful during this time. He knew where a lot of the places were already. We only had an hour to do that.

Then we got together with the NorthPoint campus team for a team meeting. The Staff introduced themselves and their romantic background. Then they asked us why we wanted this internship. We went over the job description and found out which full time intern we will be working with. I am working with KT (i.e. Kevin Turner). Kevin is in charge of guy small groups. We take spread sheets and identify who is where and find the best locations to have small groups. We are also going to be in charge of recruiting new small group leaders. I get to do interviews for
new leaders and follow up interviews to take care of the old leaders. Another cool thing that I will be doing is holding our own bible study on Wednesday nights. The interns get to brainstorm and come up with a plan and then they will open it up to the youth group. We will also each lead a service project for each of the different grades.

At the end, they gave me a gift. It had books for me to read, a CD, and two t-shirts. One of the t-shirts is really soft!

Last, we reviewed their program. It is called “InsideOut.” We talked through every aspect of the service chronologically discussing what went well, and what could be improved. Though I had no idea how the service went, it was really interesting to hear them all discuss it.

I am in a state of shock -a white noise type of thing. I know there is an image, but it isnʼt in focus because it so bright. Itʼll take me awhile to adjust. I keep getting the “whoa!” feeling. This program is nine weeks and it is packed with optional opportunities like the mission trip, summer camp, bible study, and service project. Iʼm just trying to wrap my mind around it. They set the expectation level so high. Iʼm 24 and way more experienced than the other interns in I was overwhelmed with what they are expecting. It is cool to think this is what they want from a 19 year old.

They have certainly the bar high!

I’ll describe the place I am staying in my next post, but to give you a little taste, I’ll let you know that I met “grammy” today, and she thinks I have great teeth!… to be continued...

(P.S. Actually, this post was written by Elizabeth, my girlfriend. I related this story to her Monday night, and she, being awesome, volunteered to do my blog update since I was very very tired. I went through and edited it quickly, and all the information is correct. We made a bet that she couldn't make it sound like me. Could you tell that it wasn't me writing? Please let us know!)

Auschwitz

2009-08-15T10:01:00.000-07:00

So I have a myriad of stories to tell you from the last month in Iraq, so I'll release them as I have time to type them up.

The last month before we left, we had to make room for our incoming replacements, so we had to vacate our three-man CHUs (Containerized Housing Units, which were boxcars with a door and linoleum flooring) in favor of wooden C-huts approximately three times as big that we managed to fit 30 guys into. If you do real quick math, that means we fit 10 times as many guys in a space 3 times as big. The room as 40' X 30' equaling 1200 square feet divided by 30 guys, meaning 40 square feet per guy... the equivalent to having 8' x 5' of my own personal space. And I had to fit a bed in there.

Also, we had two trailer bathrooms with 8 stalls a piece for 500+ guys to share. That means a big stinky overused undertoiletpapered mess you sometimes had to wait to use to relieve yourself.

So we affectionately called it Auschwitz. And every morning as I'd wake up and hit my face on the exceedingly short bunk above me, and take a big whiff of the smell of men's body oder that had a suspicious dill fragrance, I'd think about how grateful I was to be going home soon.

Well, a problem with living in such close quarters is that people have a tendency to get sick. Especially when you introduce a large group of people from another country. Well, when our replacement unit from Mississippi showed up, our guys started going down with a horrible illness. The warmed into a fever, nausea, massive full body cramps. We had 8 guys in one C-hut that were sick. Soon, it jumped into the my C-hut and two of the guys in my hut got sick.

Our medics took one of the sicker specimens down to the Troop Medical Clinic for evaluation, and they diagnosed him with "the Flu."

Some how that turned into "THE FLU."

And soon, everyone was talking about how Bravo Company had "Swine Flu."

So, an order came out from my First Sergeant that I had to round up everyone in the company who had THE FLU and take them to the TMC for evaluation.

So anyone who had a cough, sneeze, or diarrhea within the last month went into my notebook and down to the TMC.

All but three of the guys in my company were cleared as not having THE FLU.

But later that night, the Camp head Medical Officer decided that it would be better to be safe than sorry, so we were ordered to take anyone who had gone to the TMC for evaluation to be mass exodused (can you use that as a verb?) to a different C-hut for quarantine.

Nearly fifty guys attempted to fit into a C-hut with the max capacity for thirty before they figured out that we didn't have enough room for them all and had to split one of the healthy C-huts into a "sick half and unsick half" to fit the rest.

Unfortunately, because I had gone down to the TMC with all of these soldiers, and conscientiously had gotten FLU tested, I too was quarantined. And as we made our exodus to the other C-hut, I warned the guys that if they tried to force us all to take off our jewelry and force us into the showers together, that we should run away. (I'm not making light of Auschwitz, I'm merely trying to point out in a really silly frustrating situation, that it's actually not that bad.)

But it wasn't so bad. They started bringing us food. And they quarantined one of those to toilet trailers. So 50 of us were sharing one, and the other 450 guys were sharing the other. That was honestly quite pleasant for a night.

The next day, they figured out that the vast majority of us were not actually sick. And only the 8 Soldiers who were genuinely sick were kept there.

So that's my Auschwitz story.

I'm an American!

2009-08-15T09:57:00.000-07:00

Well, Friends. I'm an American again. And I really like it.

Some of the things that we have:

1) Beautiful climate. Whether you like sunny, rainy, desert, trees, wind, hot, city or farmland, America's got it.

2) Freedom. I can talk about what I want wherever I want. I can believe what I want, and talk about what I believe. I can protect myself from bad people, and I'm allowed to publish my opinions about any of those things without harassment.

3) I can go running down the street with my iPod in and my shirt off.

Please, please, enjoy your freedom today. There are a lot of people who have given up a lot of things to give it to you. So don't sit in your house and forget today. Do something just because you're free to do it.

For six dollars, he'll light your ears on fire.

2009-07-08T13:18:00.000-07:00

This entire deployment, I've cut my own hair. My dad always cut my hair growing up, and it just seemed like what we do in our family. It saves money, and the only person I can be mad at in the end is myself. I do a better job than them anyway. I just take my razor into the bathroom and go to town.

Well, I sent my razor home, and it came time for me to get a hair cut, so I ventured out into the wild yonder, and found a little Turkish barber shop on post. What a wild experience. Maybe they do this at all Barber shops. I guess I can't really say, because I never go, but here's what happened.

First I sat down, and in barber speak mixed with TurkEnglish, I got the point across that I want it short on the sides and a two on the top. That's what I always do. And it works out pretty well in the sweltering heat here. Well, he buzzes a neat line with his trimmer all the way around my head. Then he pulled out an old-school horror-flick razor to take it all the way down to the skin. Well... that sure was neat, and an exercise in faith.

Then he cuts the rest like normal, gradually buzzing from nothing to next to nothing to the two on the top. He does a nice job, and when he's don,e he coats me with lemon-smelling aftershave... actually, I smell exactly like Pledge-- the stuff you dust wood furniture with. He then grabs the my jaw and the back of my head, and before I know what's going on, he yanks and cracks my neck. I thought I was murdered right there, and wondered why he didn't just use the razor blade. He goes to grab my head and jaw on the other side to even me out, and I say... uhh... no thanks.

Next he dunks a cotton swab into alcohol and lights in on fire. Then he flicks in on my ears to remove the peach fuzz... I'm not sure what that's all about. Was the peach fuzz really that unattractive? I mean... I've seen some gues with some craaaaaazy ear hair, but I was never self-conscious about mine... until now.

I get done, and ask him how much it costs. Six dollars, sir. Well, I guess it's not so bad to pay six dollars for a story.

2009-07-04T12:07:00.000-07:00

A couple of exciting Administrative notes:

1) You can no longer send me letters or packages, because I may be out of here before I can receive them. Yay!

2) I have internet here in transient housing, so if you have Skype, friend me! Mom, Dad, Kari that means you!

3) I've decided that God's direction for the next period in time is for me to head back to Moody to finish my degree. I am so excited, I can hardly stand it. (CCF friends, I will still be around and come back to visit often. You're still my tentative plan for the future.)

I miss you all

HisStory

2009-07-04T11:39:00.000-07:00

Happy 4th of July everyone. Today brings back some good memories of good days, doesn't it? I remember the send off I got one year ago today from my friends at my Church. I really miss you guys.

My friends here and I got to talking the other day, on the 30th of June about how cool it was to be here on that day. For those of you that don't pay much attention to the news, the 30th of June was the day that all of the U.S. Forces pulled out of Iraqi cities. We are now only on our bases outside of their cities. We no longer are responsible for responding to disasters within the metropolitan areas of Iraq. The Iraqis are ruling themselves.

This day was greeted with many mixed feelings. It is a huge step forward in the rebuilding process of this country, and most Iraqis greeted it with enthusiasm, joy, and some relief. Many Iraqis are a little bit nervous about not having Coalition supervision protecting them. Whatever the case, the government declared the 30th day of June, National Sovereignty Day, and there was wide spread celebration. It was cool to be here on a day that marks their Independence Day.

It's hot and dry here, but I'm hot and refreshed.

2009-06-15T19:00:00.000-07:00

Well, after getting to spend two weeks in the wonderfully lush United States, enjoying 60-80 degree weather with mild amounts of mugginess, I'm here in Kuwait, greeted by 110 degree weather about as dry as public bathroom toilet paper. In fact, I've had two random bloody noses due to the mixed heat/dryness' drying out the capillaries in my nostrils. That's annoying.

And, though it's hot and dry, and I'm stuck waiting on the weather to undust so I can fly back to my base, God knew that I needed a couple of days to reflect and relax before continuing on with my mission.

Due to a couple of exhaustingly deep conversations with my friends Jonathan and Alex, and my sister, I came back not quite feeling refreshed, and wondering how I was going to transition back to being an Army Sergeant again. Thankfully, God forced me to sit and think about Him and relax and read the Bible like I haven't done in quite some time. It sure is odd what God will use to get my attention and show me how much He loves me. Thanks, God.

Life in the United States

2009-06-03T09:54:00.000-07:00

Well, I just finished my two weeks of Rest and Relaxation (so they call it) in the United States.

I really like the United States. I hopped on an airplane from Atlanta to Chicago, and a lady sat next to me with a small alien on her lap. She called it a "baby." It made odd, loud noises, and a large amount of liquid excreted through every orifice on it's body. It smiled at me randomly, and that made all of the other annoyances worth it.

I was walking with my mom in Target, when I saw several strange creatures. I didn't know what to make of them. They were looking at make-up and giggling. I asked my mom what they were, and she told me they were "girls." It turns out our species has two distinct subcreatures. This other one is more graceful and prettier.

When I got home, I got out of the car, and there was a foreign substance on the ground. It looks like leaves, but it grows up from the ground individually. It's soft when you walk on it, and when you take off your shoes it sticks between your toes and sort of tickles. My family calls it "grass." I guess it grows all over this country. I rolled in it. Then I got itchy and had to take a shower. Fantastic.

I got to drive where I wanted in a small motorized vehicle. It went very fast, and I got where I wanted by following very strict instructions that were posted on green signs all around the concrete surface along which I rolled. I like that I can travel where I want whenever I want. That sure is slick.

I went to a very fancy museum with my sister Mary. They preserve all sorts of pictures and drawings and paintings and stuff by people from a long time ago. I'm not sure why we like to preserve stuff from the past so much. But I like it. We also went to a fancy pizza restaurant where they baked us a cookie and put ice cream all over it. What a deliciously indulgent experience.

Another sister and I went to this place where they had built big plastic slides and shoved thousands of gallons of water down them, so when you hopped on them, you flowed fast all the way down. My sister giggled deviously when we went down the lazy river and she could beat me jumping from empty raft to empty raft into a giant pool with waves. (I know, I kind of broke character here, but it was fun... and her giggling was awesome... though she was frustratingly fast.)

I spent a lot of time cooking when I wanted, waking up when I wanted, and spending as much time as possible with my family and friends. Thanks God.

Senioritis

2009-05-13T15:09:00.000-07:00

Senior year of High School was easy. I mean, I wasn't one of those people who took easy classes like Photograpy and 21st Century Study Hall. I took all real classes, because I like to learn. But being that close to the end was really neat. I could see the end of the tunnel, and on the other side was a world of possibilities. I didn't know what was going to happen when I graduated, but I was excited about it.

Right now, that's where I'm at with this deployment. Just two weeks until I go on leave, and three months until this whole deployment is over. I'm a mixture of excitement at the prospect of leaving, but intensly focused on all the things that I have to accomplish in order to leave. It's a weird balance between looking toward the future, but being wary of the present, and not getting lax. I still need to stay sharp in order to keep my guys and myself safe.

(Quick token spiritual tie: Isn't that how it is with this whole life? We're always looking foward to heaven, knowing it is the reason we live. We will one day live with God without anything filtering out our vision of Him. But we still have to maintain focus on the present in order to accomplish the thing on earth He has left us here to do. Token thought complete.)

We're towards the end of this deployment, and we're going to face the challenges of heading home. Many people's families have been damaged by this deployment, some stregthened. Some people have found God, some have left Him. Some have made good financial decisions and will return to a job. Some have been laid off, and only gotten to pay of debt, so they are returning to a worse situation. Please pray for the soldiers of my company. And for the opportunities God is going to open up over the next three months.

Betrayed by My High Tech Friend

2009-04-30T07:31:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit frustrated today.
I was working on my computer doing some editing on the book I've been writing, and my computer decided to die. Like, one second I'm typing, and the next second, the screen is black. The computer is plugged in, so it makes no sense for my computer to just die. Most of you know I'm a die-hard Mac fan, so the fact that my Mac is betraying me is kind of an emotional experience.

For those of you who did not know I'm writing a book, let me let you in a little on that experience. It's something I started without the idea of publishing. I just wanted to us it to think over some of my life experiences and process some unanswered questions. As I progressed through the process, I started to feel like my experiences might really be able to help some other people, so I kind of wanted to try to get it published, though I was very self-conscious about it. It's got a lot of extremely personal thoughts. But as I was talking to God, and venting about this, He told me, "If I put a desire in your heart, it is your responsibility to figure out how to make it happen." And so I've been quite driven to try to get this moving. (I don't like that "responsiblity" word, but God's God... and I'm not... so we know who's word is going to matter.)

Well, I was just about done with my initial edit, and ready to send it off to some of my friends for their opinion and editing, when my computer died today. I have saved the first draft other places, but the second draft... and the last month's worth of work is saved to that computer and nowhere else.

Well, I'm online right now, and I just looked up some trouble-shooting tips, but if you don't mind praying for an inanimate object, could you pray for my computer? And for my book.

Cause God told me that even though my computer is finicky, I'm not off the hook.

I love you guys...

Plagues

2009-04-25T12:02:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago, it was hot. Like abnormally sweating as soon as you walk out of an air conditioned room kind of hot. Isn't it April? What kind of place could be this hot in April. Nasty little bugs came out of nowhere and flew into our mouths and eyes.

The next day a dust storm hit us. And when I mean storm, it was unlike anything most people have ever seen. If you've ever seen the movie, The Mummy, you might have a decent idea. A wall of dust could be seen rolling over the horizon. You could see it from several miles away. Moving at about 20 miles per hour, it ate the earth underneath it. As it came over us in our trucks, the world went from a sunshiney day one second, to complete brown out the next. We couldn't see more than 15 feet in front of us. The fine particles clogged our lungs. It was altogether one of the most disgusting experiences.

The day after that, a rainshower came and coated all of the land, turning everything into mud. A couple of hours into the shower, though, everything began to rinse clean. The air smelled good and felt good to breath in. You could see some red flowers begin to pop out of the brown landscape. And for just a minute, I got a reminder that... yeah, this place is desolate, and yeah, it pretty much suck here, and there is no reasonable explaination for why dust was a necessary part of creation, but I got the reminder that God still cares about this place. He is willing to water it.

Cool thought, huh?

God Stoops

2009-04-20T11:21:00.000-07:00

I got this image in my mind the other day of Father. I don't know if it was a flashback, vision, dream or what, but this was the thought that hit me:

I was a little boy playing in a playhouse, and Father came out to play with me. He went down to His knees and still had to bend over to barely fit through the door of the playhouse. Once inside, He took up so much room that I could barely get around Him to show him all my toys. The table, the stove, and all of the fake food that me and my friends played with.

The image faded into a bigger picture of God stooping to fit under the sky. It may make His back hurt, but He stoops because He wants to see what I'm doing and because He cares about my activities.

Isn't God a great Father?

I know this might be the most confusing thing you've ever read, but I hope it's worth it.

2009-04-06T11:34:00.000-07:00

"Not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near" Hebrews 10:25.

I want to admit that I missed church this week, mostly cause I was lazy. And I immediately regret my decision. (That's kind of a weird side thought. Cause it wasn't really a decision, more of a forgetfulness that turned into passively neglecting to make a decision. But even the neglect to make a decision is a decision to not do what I should have done.) And once you figure out what I wrote in those parentheses, you can join me for the real topic.

I've been reading a book that makes the point that our major job as Christians is to praise God by delighting in Him. That's a good point, and I thought further that I like to praise God, so it's a nice set up that God gets praise out of something I like anyway. But then I thought further, lately, I haven't been praising God as much, or thinking about Him as much, or pursuing Him as much as I'd like. That frustrated me. Why am I having a hard time praising Someone Who is so praiseworthy, Who set up such a good system? (Still following?)

Then I thought to myself selfishly, that I couldn't wait to get home and be in a youth ministry again because it's so much easier to follow God when you are socially expected to follow God. This branched into two thoughts that are the point of this blog:

1) Being around Christians is important. We have the ability to excite each other about God. Fire breeds more fire. When I missed church due to neglect, I cheated myself out of an opportunity to be excited about God, and I stole an opportunity for God to be praised by me in a corporate setting. I don't get to go to church every week, why did I have to waste this opportinity? So pleases don't get used to it, or take for granted your ability to go to church. Not everybody can go to church, and seriously, you need to realize that it is a priviledge and go with the desire to be lit on fire and to light others on fire. Go to church.

2) I cannot wait to be home to be delighting in God. When someone loves something, they can't help but talk about it. Let's take drugs for instance. Drug addicts lie to their friends, steal, beg, or anything else undignified to get their fix. Is God not a delight way more pleasurable? It's simply that I let other stuff get in the way, and forget that God is more desireable than anything else. And that's dumb. And I need to get over it. I need to stop talking like any regular Soldier, and love God enough to stand up for Him. It's about love and passion for Him, and not guilt.

Just brainstorming. I know this might be the most confusing thing you've ever read, but I hope it's worth it.

I'm distracted.

2009-04-01T13:26:00.000-07:00

Though it is easy to get distracted, I just want to pause and remind myself that this is the season to remember Jesus' passion for us.

There is often a lot of drama in my life. Maybe you have a boring life, but I think there is a lot of drama in everybodies lives, so I'm going to make this blanket statement just as a reminder for me and for you.

Let's remember Jesus again. Remember why He came to earth, and remember how He came to earth. This very earth, walked the dirt not very far from where I am. Probably got the same dust in his eyes, and accidentally swallowed one or two of the same the little gnats that fly into my face and I eat. Saw the same sunsets and the same clouds. And put on an aching and paining human body every day so that He could identify with us. So that He could be the best possible sacrifice for us.

Let's dismiss the distractions for just one minute. Even if we can't get rid of them all day, let's give Him one minute right now to remember His sacrifice and his love for us.

How amazing.

Sustainer's Challenge

2009-03-22T10:43:00.000-07:00

So it's been a minute since I've written here, and let me tell you why.

I was voluntold that I was going to try out for a competition here. I was talking with my Commander one day, and he was telling me about this competition called the "Sustainer's Challenge." Sounds pretty cool, right? Well, he said in passing, "Since you and your LT are trying out, we should have a good chance of making the team." So... when you Commander says "since," it pretty much means you're going to do it. Well, the tryout was basically a test to see who could be tortured the longest and survive. That may be a slight exaggeration, but here's what the competition included. You start by completing a six mile ruck run. You wear all your gear, and run/walk as fast as you can to the finish line. The finish line is at a weapons qualification range, where you get forty rounds to fire as many as possible into the targets. Shortly after that, your team, changes a tire on a Humvee in full body armor as fast as possible. Then you had to carry a litter with a person on it 500 meters while completing various medical tasks. All of those human fitness feats are followed by the Army's Physical Fitness test. In which you do as many push-ups as possible in two minutes, as many sit-ups as possible in two minutes, and run two miles as fast as your already ground up legs can handle. All of that is followed on the second day by a combatives tournament (which is the Army's slightly safer version of UFC fighting). So, during the tryouts, we skipped the tire change and medical tasks (because they were team events) and jammed all the others onto a hot afternoon day-- thus the torture comment.

So I tried out after having been sick for three days, and just barely made the five person team. (I will spare the sickness details, but it was a light case of Saddam's Revenge, which is kinda sucky before a competition.) One of the requirements was for one person to be an officer, one to be over 30, and one to be female. The other two of us were the young PT studs. We took the five most fit people from our very large battalion to send to this competition, and we trained for two weeks.

We went down to the biggest base in Iraq for the competition. Hundreds of people showed up to watch including our commanding General. It was an intense couple of days. We realized when we got down there, that all the other teams had been practicing for this even for months. So we were a bit behind the bell curve, and we got totally whipped. Out of 22 teams, we placed 12th.

One of our highlights was the ruck march. The rule on the ruck run were that the whole team had to finish within 25 meters of each other, but you could share gear. This event that many other teams had been practicing for months, we were at a severe disadvantage.

We realized early on that our female was going to have a hard time with this. The gear we carried weight about half of what she did, so that's a tough task to ask. So right at the beginning of the race, we took her ruck, and I threw it on top of mine and carried it for her. Later on, some of our other guys took her other gear to free her up to pump her arms and just run as fast as she could. At the end of the race, we gave it all back to her so she could cross the line all geared up. We took third place. One of the other females complained that our female didn't carry all of her stuff, and our female responded, "It's not my fault that your team didn't have enough hooah guys on it to help you out. I just had an awesome team."

And you know what? That is an awesome answer. I was thinking about how in our Christian walk, we're all going to finish together. And you know what? The Bible commands us to carry each others burdens. It's not a problem that some people are going to have a hard time with someting, it's a blessing to get to work together and finish well. Regardless of how you have to do it. I like her response because there was no shame. She didn't feel like less of a team member because she hadn't carried her own load, she had done the best she could and was a good enough team member to realize that she could probably finish if she carried it by herself, but to finish well, she had to pass her burden off. Have you ever thought about strategically passing your burdens off on your Christian friends in order to finish well?

Anyway, sorry for dropping off the edge of the world for a while. That's where I was and that's what I was doing.

Lights

2009-02-27T04:48:00.000-08:00

Matthew 5:14 says, "You are the Light of the World."

So, what if I feel like a penlight instead of a headlight?

The other day I realized a little bit about some of those Bible analogies of light. We had gotten a new truck, and one thing about Army trucks is that the headlights that come with them are super lame. This truck happened to be at the front of our convoy, and while we were on a base, we got totally lost. This truck took a turn down the wrong road, because the crew couldn't see very well. They curved down a road that bottle-necked, and suddenly the truck got stuck in a position where the whole convoy had to somehow back up. It took forty minutes to extract all our trucks out of the bottleneck.

When we got back, we immediately installed a whole bunch of more powerful brighter lights, so that would never happen again.

We live by our ability to see. The more we can see, the more we can prevent bad things from being able to happen. In the military, even when it's dark, we use night vision, so that we are never blind.

It makes me think about whether I am really a 1,000,000,000 candle super-powered city on a hill type light like I want to be , or a pen light. I want to be able to make people wear sunglasses because I am so in love with God, and it just radiates like no-body's business.

Lately I've been frustrated with myself because I'm not sure that I'm any different from nice non-Christians. I want to be different.

I suppose the key to that is the other light analogy God uses in Psalm 119:105, "Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path."

So God and His word is my light, and I am everybody else's light. I don't want to be the one to break the chain on either side. I've got to get my light word, and reflect it so that the people around me have light.

God, please be the light to my path, and help me light up the world. Sometimes it is really hard to keep Your standard. I constantly fail, and disgust myself. Help me to not get too hung up on stomping on the snake of my sin, and forget to look the path you've lit, trip and fall, and fail to light the path for others. I don't want to distract myself. I want to love You too much to fail You.

I know how to abound. Philippians 4:12

2009-02-15T23:52:00.000-08:00

I love this idea. Spurgeon once wrote, "Many... when they are set upon the top of a pinnacle their heads grow dizzy, and they are ready to fall." Naturally, when I am suffering, I now go to God with my problems, but when He blesses me, I forget Him and drive on to do whatever I want to do.

In the Army, we are taught to perform Battle Drills. These are certain actions that we rehearse to do in certain common situations so that without communicating, we all do the right thing. Everyone knows what everyone else is going to do. So very often, we are taught to not think on our own. So, we joke around about people who "do whatever they want." "Oh... you want to be an individual." "Do your own thing." On second thought, that's probably not very funny if you're not here. Well, anyway, it's to make a point. So just go ahead and believe me, it's funny. Anyway, the point is that very often a Christian's Battle Drill is to go straight to God when there is a problem, praying fervently that God will bless him. But we forget our Battle Drills and just do our own thing when we are blessed, unstressed and successful.

We free.

2009-02-13T11:07:00.000-08:00

I got the opportunity to hang out with an interpreter this week. I'll code name him Butch. He is the biggest Iraqi I've ever met. He could easily be a bouncer. But he is quiet unless you ask him a question.

He told us all about Iraq. He explained the difference between Shiite and Sunni. He told us the difference between Arabic and Kurdish. He showed us the difference between different cities, who was friendly and who was hostile. He was fantastic.

Well, I was asking him questions, and something that he said really stood out to me. He was explaining to me the difference between Iraq now and what it was before the Americans came. He said to me, "The Iraqi government sucks. I say Iraqi government sucks. We free. When Saddam is in charge, I don't talk about the government. If I say government is bad, two days later, I gone. Nobody asks where I go or they get in trouble. Now I say the government is bad. We free." Probably twenty times this week, he said, "We free." It was ironic because he didn't care about how bad the government was, all he cared about was how he was free.

He was the best interpreter I have ever had. When we needed him, he jumped out of the car enthusiastically. He helped us every chance we get. He was absolutely fantastic.

He understood what freedom was.

Freedom is not easy life. It's just freedom. I'll let you do your own interpretation.

Driven

2009-01-25T11:13:00.000-08:00

Something I learned at New Direction from their most-wise owner is that a talented person can be good at many things, but someone who wants to be great at something can only do one thing. I've been talking with God lately, and I realized that He is worthy of greatness. I want to be great for Him.

So here are some thoughts about the future going on in my head. Though I have a multitude of options in my head, I realize that there is one passion that rules them all. I want to work with students. And in that, I want to provide for them male role models to help them grow, and I want to help students make a difference in the world. That is a multiple part single desire.

Now the question that is leftover is "How?" I have no idea. So for this week, could you comment on what kinds of suggestions you've got. Any ideas?

Picture Perfect Prayer

2009-01-25T10:47:00.000-08:00

How does prayer work?

This question has baffled me for years, and remains the most confusing, yet important question in my life. I have gone back and forth hundreds of times and continue to struggle with this seemingly simple question. God even gave us an instructional video of what a prayer is supposed to look like to "Our Father in heaven" in Matthew 6. But I still don't get it. Check out these promises: "Ask and it will be given to you, seek and you will find, knock and the door will be opened to you" Matthew 7:7. "He replied, 'Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, "Move from here to there" and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you'" Matthew 17:20.

How does a Christian take ahold of these promises?

Here's a clip of a message I sent to Kayla about what I know about prayer.

"Ok... Prayer... definitely something that we learn and get better at. I think it's one of the neatest things we do because it's a mixture of talking to someone who wants to be your best friend and your Creator. You can be both intimate and yet scared of Him. It's really cool! I don't think you need to worry about which "way" to pray. Just pray like He's your best friend, but remember He could kill you at a moments notice if He wanted. He's the greatest person in the universe, but loves you like a daughter! It's awesome that way.

"As for "doing things you enjoy" together. Think of some of the things you enjoy... How bout in this scenario we'll talk about something I do for fun. I love to run down a hill as fast as I can and feel the wind hit my whole body. I love that feeling, and when I do it, I can't help but get excited about the sun, the wind, the laws of physics that God set in place, the feeling in my gut as I go down, all things He created. I think about the feeling of joy that I get and know that God created joy so that I could feel it. He made joy for my pleasure. How cool is He? You can do anything with Him. Anything that you think is fun, just draw it back to Him. I like to play basketball, and I think about how God made me so that I could play. He allowed us to invent basketball. I also do the things I'm not good at with him. I'm terrible at chess, so when I play chess, and lose, I think that God made people who are good at this stupid game. I don't know why... it's such a stupid and frustrating game, but God made people with a mind that works this way, that can do this math and plan their moves out in advance. What a cool gift to have. God made people that way. So no matter what I do, I can do it with Him if I intentionally draw a line to Him. And when I do that, I grow to love Him more. Does that make sense?"

Prayer is the most amazing privelege we have as Christians. There is so much intimacy and realness.

But then there is still those pesky promises. I want to believe them, but I don't know how. God answers and doesn't answer. He is absolutely unpredictable. It's so frustrating. I'm tired of all the standard answers. How does a person really connect with God and take hold of His promises. That is my question for today.

Sense of Urgency

2009-01-14T07:35:00.000-08:00

Somebody asked me the other day what it was like to wake-up every morning thinking someone wanted to blow me up. I generally avoid topics like this, but today I'm going to manipulate the emotion involved with my current situation to make a point.

Don't get me wrong, being in Iraq most of the time is no different from living in downtown Chicago. You know the places to not go and what type of people to avoid, and the rest is "up to God."

I've only had one real experience where I thought I was just about to get blown up. It was really odd feeling, really. I knew that I needed to take ownership of the situation, because it was either me, or four of my guys if this was to go bad. I got a funky feeling in my whole body and froze for about 5 seconds, and when I unfroze, I sized up the situation, walked over and just did what was supposed to be done. Nothing physical ended up coming out of it. But it made me think.

It's really neat to be in a position where you physically know that God could take your life. Whoever you are, wherever you are, you could die at any moment. It's nice to be in a spot where I am reminded of how short our time on earth is, and how important it is to seize the day and make the most of it.

Have you thought about that lately? You could die today, right now. What should you be doing? What are the most valuable things in the world to you? What can you change about yourself right now in case Jesus comes back tomorrow? Living with eternity in mind is an awesome way to live! God is the God of yesterday, today, tomorrow, and forever. But we are the people only guaranteed today and eternity. What are you going to do with today!?

Fear is a powerful motivator, and I don't want you to get this idea confused with "be scared and do right." And I don't want you to feel bad for Bobby. But please, for the love of God, utilize your fear to bring about a sense of urgency and change!

Noticing the unnoticed.

2009-01-06T12:17:00.000-08:00

I was reading a book by C.H. Spurgeon this week called "Morning and Evening."

Wait, that is a really bad way to start this post. I'm pretty sure that if a person starts off their post by telling how they read a book, that half of the readers just now clicked the X on the top corner.

Oh well, I have something I want to share, and reading a book is how it started. So suck it up.

The first morning, the verse that Spurgeon picked out was Joshua 5:12 "and that year the people ate of the land of Canaan." He pointed out how big of a verse that is for the people of Israel, and how that verse was the fulfillment of a thousand years of promises.

You know what stuck out to me? Spurgeon had a great point (like he always does), but I was struck by the fact that I've read that verse before a bunch of times and never noticed it. How can I read the Bible and not notice the verse that points out that God fulfilled His promise!?

More importantly, how often do I miss what God has done in my life? Do my doubts really come from God not moving, or do they come from my not paying attention to God moving.

I don't make a lot of New Year's Resolutions, because Resolutions are just made to be broken. But this year my prayer is to notice God. I want to be roasted, ground, brewed, and stimulated by a cup of God coffee every day.

I love you guys, thanks for sticking it through my book reading message.

Merry Christmas Sergeant Jackson

2008-12-27T08:57:00.000-08:00

So I wanted to pause and thank all of you who have been praying for me. I received a fantastic Christmas gift this year. I was promoted to Sergeant by the Battalion Commander on Christmas Eve. I've been up for this promotion for a few months, and was told a few weeks ago that it was going to come through soon, but it was quite the suprise when we had a formation for us to take a company picture, and I was called up front by our BC and promoted. Thank you guys!

This is the biggest jump of rank in the Army. It means I go from being a "regular joe" to being a member of the Corps of Noncommissioned Officers (NCO's). It means I'm being entrusted as a leader and given the title "Sergeant." This is a really big deal.

It's kind of funny because once again it was something I was really frustrated about and really wanted, and I had talked with God lately and prayed for Him to expand my sphere of influence so that I could affect more people. So, He's trusting me with a huge responsibility. Please keep praying that I stay strong and my love for Him continues to grow and become more evident.

Thank you for your prayers. God is still great this holiday season.

Time to Remember

2008-12-23T03:56:00.000-08:00

I love this part of the year because it's a time that forces you to reflect. Lately, I've been going through my old journals, and reliving some conversations with God from the past few years. It's weird because I find myself getting mad, and I find myself realizing things about myself and how God has painted my personality and character into who I am today-- into who He wants me to be.

As I read, I realized how much I used to draw on the people around me, particularly Laura, for my self-esteem. I knew it at the time, and commented to God about it. I asked Him to forgive me and help me place Him as the only object of veneration. (Just so you know, you should be very cautious about what you ask Him for... I should have just been content to be an idolater. My life would have been easier!)

Well, as you know, since then, God has broken me completely down. When I got back from Iraq, Laura left me. My sources of esteem failed me, and I went through a major depression. I was considering hurting myself in some serious ways just so that I could feel pain on the outside in order to drown out the pain that was inside.

I constantly asked God to show me that He was there and that He cared. At one point, I asked Him that, and some verses came to mind that I had never read. And I went to that passage and was struck by how He was the conquerer who was already marching in victory. He knows that He wins in my life.

My feet had hurt constantly from the deployment. When I went to Guatemala last summer I asked Him to heal my feet so that I could help build this orphanage more effectively, and while I was standing in the shower one day, the pain went away completely.

Still that wasn't enough. I didn't trust Him. I told Him that He I could swear those and many other instances away as coincedence.

So one day, I quit. I decided to leave Him. I told Him that I no longer believed Him. I didn't think He cared. So an opportunity presented itself for me to leave Him in a very physical way. And I decided to do it. I told Him that night that I was done, I was going to go have some fun and do what I wanted to do. I hopped in my car to go have some "fun" and was driving on an empty road in North Dakota at 1030 at night when a car whipped out of a used car parking lot and nailed my car. He completely totalled my car. And that night, I knew it was God. He had litterally reached into my life physically and there was no way to swear it off anymore.

So I asked Him, "What do You want me to do?" I heard only one word in reply, "Run!" It was weird cause it was one of those sorta audible, but silent kind of things. I don't know if you know what I mean, but I was clear that it was Him and no one else. I didn't know what to do.

Litterally the next day, Ben called and asked me to come to California to help him with his shop. So I put in my two weeks, got out of my lease and moved.

Most of you know the story from there, but God put my in an amazing church working with awesome, supportive people. My relationship with my brother is fantastic. And my walk with God is solid. I can only get my self-esteem from Him. And I know if I try to go somewhere else for self-esteem, He'll total my car, and I don't want that.

So that's my story, and I would encourage you this Christmas to think back through what God has done for You. Maybe he's sheltered you from evil like He has me. Or maybe He pulled you out of some lifestyle. Whatever the case, I would encourage you to write it down and keep it. It's so cool to see where God can bring you.

Sorry this is so long.

Merry Christmas!

Third Time's the Charm

2008-12-14T03:24:00.000-08:00

There are days when I look at this blog and think to myself, "Well, I have to have something to write about. I mean, I know people care about me, and I want to keep them informed." But it is tiring sometimes. What if I don't want to admit that I haven't learned anything this week? What if I don't want to admit that sometimes it is hard? I mean, this is like three gloomy notes in a row, and if I don't start bring the energy level up, people are not going to want to read about me anymore. And we know how much I like attention...

This week, I've been thinking about various options for the future. Will I go back and work for Ben? Will I get a full time job with CCF? Will I extend my military career? Will I move somewhere else? They're all viable options. But which one is best?

Then I got to thinking, "Why would I do any of them?" I know my purpose in life is to bring glory to God, and time is terribly short. What would be the best use of my time? Do I have time to spend in preparation for something in the future? Or should I just make the future now and do the best I can? How can I serve best?

That progressed into thinking, "Am I taking the time right now to do the best I can? How will God entrust me with something bigger if I'm wasting the time now? What can I do right now to show that He is real to the people around me?"

It turned out fantastic. I was in the back seat of our Humvee thinking about all of this, and someone asked me about what had happened to me this past year. I got to explain my entire testamony and how God has protected me my whole life, and has done straight up visible miracles this year. It was awesome because I got to remember, if even just for a minute, what God has done for me.

That brings me to another point. Isn't this website awesome? Cause even if no one reads this (which I can't tell if you read it if you don't leave a comment, so please leave a comment! It's really encouraging!), I get the chance to recite what God has done for me in the past week. I would totally recommend finding a way, time, place, journal, or website to consciously think over what God has done for you on a regular basis.

Well, that turned ungloomy there at the end. Cool. Later.

I played a guy in ping-pong who could beat me.

2008-12-04T21:43:00.000-08:00

Don't worry, he didn't.
I mean, we were warming up, and I thought he could beat me. Then we played, and I beat him, so for those of you who are waiting for me to lose at a game of ping-pong, you're going to have to wait a little longer.

Somehow, the Chaplin tricked me into telling him I play the piano, and now I have to play this Sunday. I don't know how the guys in ministry can rope you so sneakily into their devices, but I appreciate it.

I was going to go to practice this past Wednesday night, after going to the gym. And I sprained my ankle playing basketball. So I had to hop all the way to the chapel. That was an experience in itself.

I'm learning about how God is worshiped in all circumstances.

Have you ever taken a rifle with you to church? Well, I have, and it's weird because no one looks at you weird when you bring in a rifle. And I can't help but imagine what in the first century people must have done. They were being persecuted not far from here, and I'm sure they came to church with a war plan. Or at least an escape plan. It's really interesting to think, and to be put in a position where your life is in danger, and still worship God.

God will be worshiped whether we feel good or not. Whether we sprain our ankle or not. Whether we are in danger or not. Whether we care or not. God is bigger than any of our human circumstances. How cool is that?

God is pretty cool this week in Iraq.

Holidays

2008-11-30T03:09:00.000-08:00

So I'm struggling to find something to tell you all about. I know, I know, Bobby never has a hard time finding something to talk about. But one of my goals in every note is to be able to encourage, enlighten, empower and anything else that starts with "e" that is cool. More or less, I don't want blather about myself, but make sure the focus is always on God. Well, as we boil down into this holiday season, it's a little tough at times to remember why I'm here. Not here, like sitting at a computer, or in a FOB in Iraq, but it's hard to remember why I'm here on earth. It's not so much like I'm depressed. I don't get sad and torn up over missing the holidays. I love my family and miss them very much, but this isn't the first time I've missed out on being with them for the best time of year. Instead, I forget why I'm here on earth: to glorify God by enjoying Him forever. And because I'm forgetting that, I'm cold to the world. It's like I'm shutting of all of the emotions that could be there and just not allowing any types of emotion in. I'm not letting good or bad affect me so that I can go on with what has to be done.

Have you ever felt that way (or I guess a better way to put it is, have you ever not felt that way?)

I'm sure you have. This isn't the first time I've felt it, and the nice thing about writing it down, it is makes me aware that I'm feeling this way, and it's time to once again go to God and ask Him to help me remember! I want to remember why I'm here and remember that He's good.

Could you please pray that my spiritual life will be enlivened, and that I will be able to have spiritual food poisoning, just puking joy on everyone around me?

Alright, well that's all the time I've got for disgusting metaphors. I love you all.

-Bobby

Less than good day.

2008-11-17T10:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, I'll admit, not every day is a good day. Due to our mission tempo, I wasn't able to go to church the first few weeks here in Iraq, which as you can imagine, is really frustrating. It's something I certainly take for granted every week until it's missing. I really missed that recharge time.

Since we've been here, I've got a completely different schedule than my Christian friend and encouragement and we haven't had a chance to spend any time together.

Also since we've been here, I haven't had a good schedule to get spend quality time with God. I miss Him terribly, but there doesn't seem to be much I can do yet. It's really hard to make time to spend with Him.

Well, this past Sunday, I finally got to be on post during a service, and I finagled my way out of a meeting so that I could go to church. Well, I was pulled to the side a few times to set stuff up for the next day, and I missed my chance to catch the bus, so I had to run to church. As I was running, I got really really sick, and had to spend some time in a porta-john (details edited out here). I have no idea what made me so sick. I had to sprint to church, and when I got there, I was sweaty, really really stinky, sick and completely misearable because I didn't feel any better. At the end of the service, I had to sneak out to go spend more time in the porta john. A half hour later, I was walking back to my chu (that's our word for trailer-house dealy that I live in), and I felt fine again. Except I was angry.

"Why do I feel this way after church, God? Didn't you know I needed this time with You? Why pick this time to make me so sick? Why can't I be encouraged and my heart lit aflame again?

Part of me would like to resolve this story with some fantastic end that God swoops in and makes it all better because He can see the bigger picture, but in truth, He didn't. Or I haven't listened yet.

Will you please pray for me and for my friend and for the testing that we're going through. When I back-up, I know that I can end this note with hope and anticipation because I know that my God has always answered my prayers, and will answer again. Will you watch and wait with me while we pay attention to how God works?

Thank You for your prayers.
I love you.

Bobby

Well, I guess now I get to answer the original question.

2008-11-03T06:39:00.000-08:00

Hey Bobby, How's Iraq?
Well, there are some things that I'm not going to talk about on the internet, because it puts my battle buddies in danger when you give out too much info, but I'll give you what I think is generic enough to be safe.
We're on a base up in Northern Iraq, and it's actually very much like California here. There's a lot of dirt and gravel, a few trees, and the temperature is hanging out in the high 80's during the day, and the low 60's at night. We're near the Tigris River Valley (for those of you that know Bible history about the Tigris and Euphrates, that's where I am). It's really neat to think of all the Biblical stories that took place here in this very area. The Babalonians used to run this whole area, and this place has been fought over since the beginning of mankind. Most people think that the Garden of Eden wasn't terribly far away from here. Isn't that fantastically cool!? Just thinking about the FACT that our religion is based on history and not myth. Those places do exist.
In more recent history, I'm on a base that was once a Ba'ath Party Outpost. At the beginning of the war, our soldiers came and conquered this post and now it's ours.

Being here has gotten me thinking about the history of our religion. It got me thinking about why we fight here.

A man two thousand years ago came and started teaching some radical stuff, and ever since, our half of the world has been changed.

A man fifteen hundred years ago came and started teaching some radical stuff, and ever since, this half of the world has been changed.

What is the difference? One man came and told the world, that there was only one way to heaven, and that was through the our actions, we can earn our way to heaven, and that anyone who disagreed should be hurt or killed and conquered.
One man came and told the world that, he was the way, the truth, and the life, and that the work is all done. We don't have to do anything. He has already conquered the things that need to be defeated-- sin and death, and that it is only our joy and jubilation in Him that causes us to do good works. Grace is such an amazing thing, don't you think?

Other updates: The food here is unbelievable. In all honesty, your taxes are going to very good things here, because in my adult life, I have not eaten this well. It's unbelievably delicious, and I have a ton of options about what to eat. The only thing I could still go for is perhaps some home-made cookies, cause the cookies here are kind of a joke. So... hint...
Our equipment is top-of-the-line. We are very well equiped.
Our living arrangements are good. I share a trailer with only two other guys, and have my own little space, I'll try to send pictures at some point.

I'll admit, I logged back on here, kind of frustrated because I wasn't sure anyone was actually reading this, and it is a big time chunk to update, and you all wallopped me with comments. Thank you so much for caring.

For the first time in my life, I understand what Paul meant when he said, "It is right for me to feel this way about all of you, since I have you in my heart, for whether I am in chains or defending and confirming the gospel, all of you share in God's grace with me." (Phil 1:7) I know I'm not imprisioned, but you are here with me daily while I deal with the spiritual, emotional, and physical aspects of this deployment. I love you.

Snapshots in Kuwait

2008-10-23T19:32:00.000-07:00

Well, it's about 100 degrees every day, and really dusty. For instance, if the wind blows a little bit, there will be dust in your eye. You can put glasses on, you can put goggles on, you can squint, but when there is a breeze, it doesn't matter, there will be dust in your eye. You just have to get used to there being sandpaper between your eyelid and eyeball. It's cool though.It's been pretty slow here. We do some training, but mostly we sit around so we can acclimate to the 8 hour time difference and temperature.God is still being good. I slack off on him sometimes. I'm reading the book of Phillipians still. Wow, can you say jammed with good stuff? Take this verse just as food for thought:

"I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me."
Phil. 3:12

So lately, I've been praying for God to bless me like he did Joseph. There is a promotion coming up that I want, but as with everything, there are politics to it. What do you think of praying for God to improve your situation when you don't need it? I want to be able to represent God in everything here, and I want Him to increase my sphere of influence. I also want Him to give me a roommate who doesn't snore. Do you think those are legitimate prayers? If so, please keep them in your prayers, along with strength and joy through this entire deployment. I love you guys. Please stay in touch.

3000/12

2008-10-13T09:53:00.000-07:00

So I got a chance to go home and see my family for four days last week, and my good friend, Jon Carr came up from Moody Bible Institute (where he's going to college) in Chicago to see me. During some of our fantastic discussions, he mentioned how during this summer he and some guys at the summer camp he was a counselor at had challenged each other to 3000/12. A challenge in which they did 3000 push-ups and memorized 12 Bible verses in twelve days. In the ten weeks they were there, they did 15,000 push-ups and memorized 60 verses.

Well, I came back up to Ft. McCoy, and found a friend who was willing to join me in this adventure (check out the video that's coming to a youth group near you to see how I found a friend and answer to prayer!). We decided to take up the challenge, and memorize starting in Philippians. While I was reading ahead, I ran into a suspiciously amazing verse, Philippians 1:21, and it says "For to me, to live is Christ, and to die is gain."

Isn't that a neat perspective? What can you say to someone who thinks like that?

Could you imagine being one of the guys trying to intimidate Paul?

"You quit talking about Jesus, or we'll beat you up,"

"I would count it a privilege to suffer for Christ"

"You quit talking or will put you in jail"

"Put me in jail, and the word of God will spread more rapidly"

"You quit talking about Jesus, or we'll kill you!"

"For to me, to die is gain... I get promoted, I'm excited about the day I die."

Seriously, what would you say to someone with that perspective? Nothing else would matter if we could get to that mindset. No suffering, nothing would compare to the privilege we get in Jesus! That is so cool.

Alright, that's all from me for now.

Dear World

2008-10-05T19:53:00.000-07:00

Well, this is my first post, and I guess I will give you the thorough update of what's going on. I'm on a four day pass up in Wisconsin. For the past month and a half, I've been at Ft. McCoy, an Army National Guard Fort which has the purpose of training up National Guard soldiers for overseas missions. The National Guard trains one weekend a month most of the year most years, so I guess the Army has the wisdom to realize that we need to be retrained in order to be prepared for war. I think that that is a fantastic idea.

Some of the things that I've been training on:

As a medic, I've been training on how to do IV's under less than ideal circumstances. I've already been trained on how to do IV's and different kinds of medications (antibiotics, pain-killers, etc.) to push, but we've been training for the less convenient situations we may face. We've done training in different environments- in the rain, and in the dark using Night Vision Goggles; and in unique anatomical places- in the jugular veins and ankles.

We've learned how to suture, and how to do nerve blocks to numb localized parts of the body for minor surgeries.

As a soldier, I've gone out to different ranges, using my M4 to shoot targets on a qualification range, and different kinds of moving ranges in a Humvee (one of the modes of transportation we'll be using). I've also retrained on how to do different kinds of evacuations of injured soldiers, via Humvee or helicopter.

The training has been good.

The people are pretty cool. I have fairly good leaders this time, which is really nice. WE've barely butted heads. They keep us really well informed of what we're doing and what our mission is. My squad leader, Staff Sergeant Wilson, is a good boss. He is constantly putting our needs above his own. From making sure that we all eat before he eats, to making sure we have good equipment, to making sure we're constantly training and prepared for each day, he shows that he wants to make sure that we're ready for everything. He's also really detail oriented. We have a great relationship because he comes to me for advice based on my experience as a medic who's already been deployed (he was Military Police when he deployed in 2003), and for some of my people skills, and I come to him for support and for tactical advice. Please keep him in prayer. He's newly married and has a little girl, and is definitely seeking spiritual answers.

Well, that's all I've got for now. My e-mail address, if you'd like to reach me, is robert.michael.jackson@us.army.mil

I love you guys, and hope to hear from you all often.

In Christ,

Bobby

instructions

2008-07-12T17:28:00.001-07:00

on the google account e-mail address, put in,

e-mail - calebbonifay@yahoo.com

password - ilikechicken1

excuse the password. this was my own personal account, later i will change the email to something else... sorry i didn't find out about this earlier, i did not check out everything to see if it worked,

thanks

FIRST POST!

2008-07-06T13:17:00.000-07:00

dear Bobby/reader,

we will be posting videos, and pictures, and writing messages if we can figure it out, so continue to keep in touch and go on to this blog site. And Bobby this message is for you... MAKE A MYSPACE!